


If I Should Fall Behind, Wait For Me

by wildirish



Category: Erkenci Kuş (TV)
Genre: Angst, CanEm - Freeform, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, other characters appear
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-10-03 05:45:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17278202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildirish/pseuds/wildirish
Summary: Sanem sacrifices herself to save her sister, ending up in the hospital. Can refuses to leave her side as his beloved fights for her life after being rendered comatose.





	1. Prologue

 

**Prologue**

Can Divit thought he knew what fear was when he had received a phone call from the hospital that his brother Emre had been in an accident.

When he heard that his father was taking a sabbatical because he was seriously ill.

Can Divit thought he knew what pain was when he had learned of Sanem’s lies and believed that her feelings for him had all been part of a charade.

When he realized that his family was falling apart, and his mother was leaving him behind as a young boy.

But nothing, nothing at all, could have prepared him for the crippling terror he felt when he saw that car crash into Sanem’s body, tossing her like a ragdoll upon the hood and over the roof of the car, leaving her behind, broken and bleeding on the pavement.

Nothing, nothing at all, could have shown him what agony felt like when he finally reached her—had it been days or mere seconds? It all felt the same—and found her unresponsive.

Finally, at that moment, Can Divit understood what it meant to lose everything. It wasn’t material things. It wasn’t a reputation. It wasn’t a career. It wasn’t even the freedom to go wherever, whenever.

It was the sweetest, most alluring scent he’d ever known.

It was the brightest, kindest smile he’d ever seen.

It was the simplest and most confounding joy he’d ever experienced.

It was Sanem.

And for the first time, she had fallen beyond his reach. He would have torn his heart out of his chest just to rip the veil between life and death to pull her back to living. Sacrificed his life for hers. Because, for him, there could be no living, there could be no purpose in it, if Sanem wasn’t gracing this earth with her spirit.

But nothing could pierce the veil that separated the two of them. He pressed relentlessly on her chest to keep her heart beating, exhaled endless breaths into her broken lungs, but despite feeling her flesh and bones beneath his palms, he could not get to her. He could not pull her close to him, safe from the brink. He could not catch her before she crashed into the ground. He could not pick her up this time and carry her on his back out of the darkness of the beyond.

And when they wheeled her on a gurney for emergency surgery, he could do nothing with the helpless feeling that swamped him like a wave. He could do nothing but weep because all he could feel was life without her and it was the most harrowing, excruciating thing Can Divit had ever experienced in his life.

It was empty.

 

* * *

 **Author's note:** This is going to be slightly AU because I started writing and plotting it long before the last episode (26) aired. This is just the start. There will be more chapters posted. Let me know what you think so far if you'd be so kind. 


	2. Chapter 1

_**Day One** _

The day started benignly enough. He picked up Sanem and drove her to work. This time around there was no hiding their relationship. Can never wanted anyone to wonder who Sanem belonged to or who he belonged to. Though after he nearly spent eight hundred thousand dollars to get rid of Fabri, there should have been no question within the company about where his loyalty was.

But Can had insisted to Sanem that this time around they not keep secrets from her parents. He respected them both immensely, and he didn’t want to lose their respect by keeping his relationship with Sanem secret. Also, he just didn’t want to hide. The love inside of him was too powerful that he couldn’t bear to censor himself. If he wished to reach out to hold her hand, he wanted to do it freely; if he wished to kiss her, he wanted to just do so.

As Can had suspected, Nihat and Mevkibe were at first surprised. But when he spoke frankly about his feelings and intentions towards Sanem they came around. Mevkibe had been the first to accept them, and the least surprised; and Nihat had just followed her lead after Can and he shared a frank conversation about Can’s intentions. Can never intended to live a day without Sanem and promised to protect the man’s daughter always. Of course, after Emre had begun dating Leyla, it had gotten a bit rocky. Mevkibe hadn’t been as welcoming to Emre in Leyla’s life as she had been to him in Sanem’s. Can spoke to Sanem’s parents privately and assured them that whatever happened with Leyla and Emre, it would not interfere with his relationship with Sanem. Can just wouldn’t allow it.

Everything had gone normally until after lunchtime. Emre went out for a lunch meeting and returned to the office visibly upset. Can tried to get him to talk about it but he closeted himself in his office, even shutting out Leyla.

It was nearing the end of the business day and Can was preparing to leave the office. He and Sanem had made plans to have dinner with Emre and Leyla. He wanted to get home to change before picking up the girls.

Emre came into the main office, looking worried and slightly sick. He asked to speak to Can. That was when Can noticed that Sanem left her phone on his desk.

“Hang on. I’m gonna try to catch up to the girls and give this to Sanem,” Can told his brother.

“Where did they go? They aren’t here?” Emre asked confused.

“No. They wanted to leave to catch the bus, so they could go home and get ready for our double date later,” Can explained. “I offered to drive them, but they said no.” 

“Oh God, we gotta find them,” Emre declared. He rushed out of the office. Can was curious about Emre’s urgency and chased after his brother, Sanem’s phone clutched in his hand.

Emre’s worry had him foregoing the elevator and dashing down the stairs. Can immediately caught up with his brother and asked him what the problem was.

“It’s Aylin,” Emre answered.

“What about her?” Can asked.

“There they are,” Emre responded instead, pointing to the girls who were out on the street right in front of the agency.

Can would never forget what happened next, even when he was old and grey and his mind had begun to fade. He and Emre both exited the office instep. Leyla and Sanem had moved out into the middle of the road when Sanem turned quickly back towards the office, nodding at whatever Leyla called out to her. For one second, Sanem and Can’s eyes locked, a smile started to light her face and Can knew she had turned around to grab her phone. He held it up in his hand to show her that he had it.

But then Sanem immediately turned back towards her sister, the smile slipping from her face. Sanem took a running leap at her sister, pushing her onto the division between lanes. And one second later, a sedan crashed into Sanem.

Can had already climbed up the stairs to the street. He heard the cry of pain from Sanem upon impact.

He’d never forget the sound of her head cracking into the windshield or the sound of her body scrapping across the car’s body before landing with a muted thud on the pavement.

Can vaguely heard screeching brakes and the sound of a car crashing. But Can paid no attention to that. None of that mattered now.

Even before he fell to his knees next to her prone body, Can saw the pool of blood forming around her motionless form.

He noted that Emre had continued running to check on Leyla who was lying on the ground.

But Can didn't have the focus for Leyla. His entire world was seeping out of his hands into red pools on dark concrete. Can was scared to touch her because he knew that there was a serious risk of parallelizing her. He heard someone cry out that they had called for an ambulance. He even recognized the faint sounds of sirens in the background.

But all of Can’s existence had dwindled down to trembling fingers that checked for a pulse. Can prayed to find one. His prayers were unmet. Can knew how to administer CPR. He’d used it a few times during his travels. But his arms trembled, and a fierce grip of fear held him. She’d been through a serious injury. He knew that CPR done properly wasn’t exactly gentle on a person.

And then a voice, like an echo of a siren’s song, told him that if he didn’t act, he would lose her.

Can started doing compressions and breaths until the ambulance arrived and took over. He hadn’t wanted to leave her side. If he stopped touching her, Can was convinced she would surely disappear on him forever. And just as surely, Can knew that his own soul would slip from his body.

Emre and CeyCey pulled him from Sanem. Can just stood over the medics, staring unblinkingly at Sanem, willing her to live. Willing her to not leave him. When they transferred her to a gurney to take her to the hospital, Can finally looked towards Leyla. She looked disheveled, unharmed, but scared for her sister.

As family, she would have the right to ride in the back with Sanem. Without words, he begged her to let him go in her place. She nodded. Can spun around to follow them into the ambulance when something on the ground caught his eye.

It was Sanem’s necklace. It must have come off during the impact. Can bent down and picked up the piece of jewelry. The pendant hadn’t been damaged. He clutched it tightly into his hand and prayed that he wouldn’t lose his love.

* * *

 

Can followed Sanem as far as he could, once they reached the hospital. They wouldn’t let him inside the room as they worked to stabilize her. But he stood like a sentry outside the door, staring in through the glass. The idea was drumming in his head that if he kept his eyes on her that he could tie her to him. As long as he watched her, she would be okay.

The outline of the amber pendant was embedded into his palm, he gripped it so tightly. He almost crushed it in his fist when he saw them using paddles on her and watched her body convulse on the table from the shock. Can had seen some things that could turn a stomach ill in his travels. But when they inserted a tube into her chest and blood poured out, Can felt the bile burn the back of his throat.

He couldn’t understand what was happening. Why this was happening. To Sanem of all people. His beautiful, innocent Sanem. He’d give everything he owned to trade places with her.

Can felt split in half. Part of him was there listening as doctors called for scans and requested an operating room. But another part of him felt separated as he begged God to spare Sanem’s life. To bring her back to him. To take his life instead. Anything, so long as he didn’t have to live without her.

They pushed him out of the way when they rushed Sanem out of the emergency room towards the OR. Can reached out and for one second brushed his fingers along her hand that was at the edge of the gurney. He prayed it wasn’t the last time he’d ever touch his Sanem.

A nurse directed him to the waiting room for the operating room. It felt like one million steps for Can’s leaden legs. Pushing open the doors, Can’s already broken heart crumbled a bit more when he saw Sanem’s family huddled together in tears on a sofa. He immediately expected them to turn on him because he had failed at keeping her safe.

Mevkibe broke away to come to him. Then she pulled him down into her arms, a sight that would have been funny in any other circumstances given how much shorter she was to him; but Can couldn’t laugh. Instead, he broke down as Sanem’s mother cradled him as he cried. Her daughter was in the operating room and she was consoling him. Can had no memories of ever crying in his own mother’s arms. But at that moment, he clung to Mevkibe like a child.

Taking pity on Mevkibe, Can pulled away but she only pulled him to the sofa so she could wrap an arm around him.

“They tell us that you saved her,” Mevkibe told him.

“I did not. She’s…they…” Can couldn’t bring himself to describe to Mevkibe all the horrors he had seen since the moment Sanem’s lithe form had gone airborne.

“You did CPR. They said without it she wouldn’t have made it to the hospital,” Mevkibe told him. “You took care of her, Can Bey.”

Can had never been less sure of anything in his whole life.

“Sanem is a strong girl. She’ll be okay,” Mevkibe promised him.

“I know my daughter. She’s too stubborn to be anything but,” Nihat said, his voice thick with his own tears.

“I don’t understand what happened,” Can confessed.

“It was Aylin,” Leyla answered. “She was driving the car. The police arrived after the ambulance left. She was knocked unconscious when her car hit the wall. They brought her here to look at her.”

“She should be in jail,” Nihat spat.

Can agreed. Or worse, he thought to himself. She should be the one fighting to stay alive and not his beautiful Sanem.

He needed her to live.

The hours felt interminable as they waited for news from the operating room. Emre had shown up about an hour later having given a statement to the police. CeyCey, Ayhan, and Osman all showed up to wait with them. Eventually, Can couldn't bear to sit and wait. He began to pace the waiting room like a caged lion. The urge just to storm through those forbidden doors keeping him separated from his beloved was so strong that he had to sit back down and clutch the chair’s arms. As much as he needed to hear from the doctors, he also needed them to be solely focused on Sanem’s wellbeing. He would do no good but create a distraction.

But the madness was eating at him. He hated not seeing Sanem for even a few minutes. It made work a challenge sometimes when she had things to do outside of his office. She always took his concentration with her, holding it hostage until he saw her again. Every cell in his body was screaming at him that he needed to see her. That he would protect her better than anyone.

Then finally the door opened.

An exhausted doctor, about ten years older than Can, came out. Can tried not to focus on the blood stains on his scrubs. He knew it was Sanem’s. Can got to his feet before the doctor spoke.

“The family for Sanem Aydin?” the doctor asked.

Everyone else came to their feet and circled around the doctor.

“How is she?” Can demanded.

“She’s alive,” the doctor assured.

Can took his first easy breath since he’d been separated from Sanem.

“She’s been seriously injured,” the doctor cautioned. “Her left leg was broken. There was internal bleeding. This caused a hemothorax and it collapsed her lung. When we opened her up, we found that her spleen had been injured. We were able to repair that. She was in shock when she arrived at the hospital. She did code on the table, but we brought her back.”

“Oh my God,” Mevkibe said. She turned into Nihat, who held his wife closely. “My baby girl.”

Can’s mouth went dry at how close he truly came to losing her.

“She’s out of recovery now and being moved into a room. She’s in critical care but so far stable. Our primary concern right now is that CT scans show brain swelling,” the doctor continued. “So she’s on a ventilator because of that and to help repair her lung.”

Can felt his legs go weak under him. He felt Emre’s arm come around him in support.

“We haven’t found a brain bleed, but we are keeping an eye on that,” the doctor finished. “We are hoping that the swelling will go down with medication. Right now, she's in a coma. Hopefully, as the swelling goes down, she will wake up.”

Could God be so cruel as to spare her life but lock her away from him forever?

“Can we see her?” Can asked. He didn’t know anything about what the doctor had told them. He just knew that he needed to see Sanem.

“Yes,” the doctor replied. “The nurse will take you to see her. But family only right now.”

Can felt his heart shrivel up and die that he would be kept away from Sanem for longer. But Mevkibe just reached out and grabbed his hand and told him to follow them. If Can hadn’t already loved the woman, this one moment in time cemented his love and respect for her, always.

 

* * *

Sanem’s room was in a quiet corner of the critical care ward. It was a large, private room with a beautiful view of Istanbul that meant nothing to its inhabitant. Can measured his steps as they all followed the nurse. He could have easily outstripped her steps—and those of Sanem’s family—and found her all on his own. He could sense her before he could even see her. It had always been this way. It was this sense that had led him to find her in the woods. Something had been pulling at him telling him which direction to look in as he hunted for his missing love.

The assuredness of his steps faltered just outside her door. He needed to see her, but he was so terrified of what he would find.

Nihat put a hand on his shoulder. “C’mon, son. She needs to know you’re here.”

There was absolutely nowhere else on earth that Can could be. He was tied to Sanem Aydin forever.

She was his roots.

He wanted to be her wings.

Can stepped in after the nurse and felt as if someone had punched him square in the solar plexus. His lungs forgot how to draw breath; his vision went spotty. But still, he kept moving towards the bed.

This couldn’t be Sanem. Her face was cut-up and bruised. A white bandage wrapped around her head. A ventilator mask was over her mouth. She had tubes and wires all around her. Her right foot was elevated slightly, wrapped up. The doctor must have forgotten to mention that injury. As well as the other cuts and bruises all over her arms and legs. Her beautiful brown eyes were shut, preventing him from seeing that child-like twinkle that was always in them. The tube keeping her breathing meant that she couldn’t smile at him like she always did—just like she had been doing right before she’d been rundown.

And mostly, this person didn’t smell like his Sanem. Gone was the intoxicating scent of a wildflower field and in its place was the antiseptic smell of hospitals.

Can stood beside her bed. His hand trembled as he reached for hers. Just like her face, her hand was cut up and bruised and Can tried not to hurt her. The moment their hands touched, his lungs worked. Because he knew that touch. Because he would know his Sanem, anywhere.

Nihat and Mevkibe moved to the other side of the bed and cried as they took in the vulnerable form of their youngest daughter.

A choking sound drew his attention from Sanem. He looked over and saw Leyla at the end of the bed, chest heaving and tears pouring down her face. She kept saying, “Oh my God.”

Nihat went to Leyla and pulled her tightly into a hug. “It should be me. It was supposed to be me,” she cried into his chest. “Aylin was aiming for me. Sanem pushed me out of the way.”

“Your sister loves you very much. She did what you would have done,” Nihat assured her. “She’s going to be okay. Sanem is a strong girl.”

They gathered chairs and sat around Sanem’s bedside, keeping a silent but tearful vigil. Can never let go of her hand. Eventually, a nurse came in to say that they needed to clear the room.

“I’m not leaving,” Can vowed.

“Sir, visiting hours are over,” the nurse told him.

“She’s not going to be alone. I’m just going to sit here. But I am not going to leave her alone in this room,” Can argued. “Pretend I’m not here. But I’m not going anywhere.”

The floor supervisor was called and Can argued the same. And then he begged. “Please…please let me stay with her. I need to stay with her,” Can beseeched. “I won’t do anything. I won’t leave the room. I’ll just sit right here. But I can’t leave her alone.”

“I’m sorry. Truly. But the doctor has ordered that all visitors leave,” she explained.

“Can I just have another minute with her?” Can asked.

The supervisor nodded and then led Mevkibe, Nihat, and Leyla out of the room.

“Listen to me, Sanem,” Can begged her motionless form. He squeezed her hand in his, careful of the bruises. “They are making me leave right now. But I’m not going far. I’ll just be outside. And as soon as I can come back in, I’ll be here. I promise you. So I need you to promise not to leave me, okay? I’m asking you to stay this time, Sanem. Remember? If I ask you to leave, you’ll leave and if I ask you to stay, you’ll stay?”

Can brushed a kiss across her bruised knuckles.

“You can’t leave me, Sanem. So wherever you are right now, come back to me. Stay with me, please,” Can begged her and once again tears ran down his face, landing on her hand. He let go with one hand and reached into his pocket. He pulled out his two moonstones. “I’m leaving these with you, okay, my love? These helped heal me, and they’ll heal you. They’re full of my life force, Sanem, so I’m with you even if I’m not sitting here. And, _Canim,_ draw on their energy—on _my_ energy to come back to me.”

Then he waved her amber pendant as if she could see it in his hand. “And I’m going to hold onto this for you, Sanem. I’m gonna hold onto it so that you can find me. Find me, Sanem. Come back. I love you. And I need you.”

The tears flowed freely, Can didn’t even try to stem them. He kissed her again on her hand, the one now clutching his moonstones. Then he stood and brushed a kiss on her temple. “I’m waiting for you, Sanem.”

Then he left the room. And took up a seat just outside the doors of the critical care ward.

 

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Let me know what you think. Good? Bad? Comments are the best. 

 


	3. Chapter 2

**Day Two**

As soon as visitors were granted, Can climbed off his spot on the hallway floor. He’d kept his promise to Sanem and stayed as close to her as they would allow. When he saw her again, he felt that split feeling of relief at the sight of her and pain at her visage. He knew that she wasn’t in pain because they were giving her pain medication. But he still ached at the imagined pain.

He checked her hand and found the moonstones still wrapped in her fingers. He kissed the top of her palm.

“I’m back, my love,” Can told her. “I’m still waiting for you, Sanem.”

Eventually, her family returned. “Can Bey, you should’ve gone home to get some sleep,” Leyla scolded.

“I don’t need sleep,” Can replied. He needed Sanem. “I promised her that I wouldn’t leave her, so I didn’t. I won’t ever.”

“Have they said anything?” Leyla inquired.

Can nodded. “They said she remained stable all night. And she was, I saw them routinely checking on her all night. They’re doing another CT scan to monitor the swelling.”

“I brought you something to eat,” Mevkibe told Can and handed him a container. He smiled softly at the older woman. He didn’t have the heart to tell her that he had no appetite. But she seemed to understand because she cupped his cheek with her hand and said, “She’s going to need you to keep up your strength. It’s going to be a long road, Can Bey.”

Thus, Can ate but for once he couldn’t appreciate Mevkibe’s delicious cooking.

Later the doctor visited and told them that the new scans indicated the medication was working and the swelling had gone down some overnight. But they were going to remain cautious. No bleeding had been found either. It was two small miracles that Can praised God for. But it didn’t feel like enough. Because Sanem was still too far from him. Trapped in some never-ending dreamland; or worse, in endless darkness.

Sanem shouldn’t ever be in the dark. Her spirit was too bright to be trapped there. She needed to be in the sun, the only thing as brilliant as she.

* * *

 

**Day Three**

“Brother, I’ve brought you some clothes,” Emre told Can and handed him a bag. The family-only ban had been lifted after another CT scan showed that Sanem’s brain swelling had gone done even more. They hadn’t even argued about Can staying in the room with her. In fact, in the last seventy-two hours, he'd barely left the chair he had sitting next to her bed. He spent most of the time holding her hand, usually talking to her about his adventures and the places he wanted to show her around the world, and other times he just sat in silence. Content to just be near to her instead of relegated to the hallway.

There was a private bath attached to Sanem’s room, usually reserved for patients but Can used it to take a quick shower and change clothes. He hastily pulled his hair back into a ponytail and rushed back to his bedside vigil.

Later CeyCey stopped by. “Can Bey? How is Sanem?” He stood at the threshold.

Can waved him in. “Come in, CeyCey. They say she’s doing better. But she’s still…asleep.”

Can liked to think of it as sleeping. It seemed more peaceful. Less permanent than the word “comatose.”

“I can sit with her, Can Bey, so that you can take a walk or get some air,” CeyCey offered softly.

“No thank you CeyCey,” Can refused. “I’m not leaving her side. I made her a promise to wait for her and that’s what I’m going to do. But you’re more than welcome to come in and sit and talk with her.”

* * *

 

**Day Four**

Mevkibe had been in and out all day long. Can hadn't left again. Instead, he was relying on others to bring him fresh clothes or food. If they didn't, he was just as content to go without either.

He put a piece of the borek that Mevkibe had brought him back into a container, after having only eaten a bite. “I need you to come back, Sanem. Without you, food has no taste anymore. Not even your mother’s borek tastes good.”

He closed the container and put it on a small table. “It’s been four days since I’ve heard your voice, Sanem. I don’t know how I ever survived so many years without it, but now I need to hear it. Every day. For the rest of my life, Sanem. So wake up; come back. Be here with me.”

When he couldn't bear the quiet anymore, he took out his cell phone and played an old voicemail she'd left on his phone that he'd saved. It was banal; but she was laughing as she spoke and he could easily imagine her big, beautiful smile with every word she rambled into his voicemail. He played it endlessly until his phone battery died, weeping silently.

* * *

 

**Day Five**

When Can heard the door open, he figured it was going to Mevkibe bringing him something else to eat. But it wasn’t Sanem’s mother, but her father. He did carry a small bag with him that Can figured was more food. Nihat pointed to the bag and proved him correct by telling him what Mevkibe had sent over for lunch today.

“I’m not hungry. But feel free to eat it,” Can declined. Right now he didn’t want to eat.

“No. I can’t eat anything either. But whenever my wife gets worked up she tends to cook,” Nihat answered. “She can’t help Sanem, but she feels better thinking she’s taking care of you.”

“She’s very kind,” Can said in way of thanks. He didn’t mention that a lot of the food he had given to the nurses to eat so that it would not be wasted.

“Sanem doesn’t take after he mother in the kitchen, sadly,” Nihat said. “You’ll have to live with my cooking skills as far as Sanem goes.”

Can almost chuckled but mostly his voice cracked because his throat was sore and dry.

“Here,” Nihat pulled out a thermos. “It’s tea.”

Can accepted the container and took a sip. It tasted almost like Sanem’s. _Almost_. But it wasn’t quite right. Just like everything else since she’d been hospitalized. “It’s very good. That’s the only thing Sanem does well. She brews excellent tea. Oh. And she chops up a nice salad,” Can attempted to joke. But the memories of Sanem burning food, bringing him tea, dancing on the lawn of his hut as she made a salad bombarded him making it hard to laugh.

Nihat humored him with a smile. “Well, you won’t go thirsty, anyway.”

“That’s okay. I can cook for us,” Can assured Nihat. “But I’d gladly eat her cooking every day for the rest of my life if she’d just wake up right this minute.”

Both men looked at the still form of their beloved Sanem. They sat like bookends at her beside in silence for a time. Eventually, Can broke the quiet. “I’m sorry, Nihat.”

“For what, son?” Nihat asked.

“I promised you that I would always protect her and I didn’t,” Can confessed. The words burned like a flash of fire in his mouth. “You wanted someone who would look out for her and I promised you I would.”

“You are,” Nihat corrected. “Sanem is in here because that Aylin woman is crazy and because Sanem loves her sister very much. I know that if you could have that you would’ve taken the hit instead of Sanem. You made sure she lived to get to the hospital. And you haven’t left her side since she’s been here. You’re holding her hand when she needs you the most. You’ve honored your promise to me, son. Don’t ever think otherwise.”  

“I just want her to wake up,” Can whispered.

Nihat nodded. He wanted his daughter, his precious _kizim_ , to return to them too. But he also realized that he’d be completely lost and adrift if it was Mevkibe in the bed. He was relying a lot on his wife’s strength as they waited for their daughter. So he could only imagine how Can must feel seeing his love this way.

“She will,” Nihat promised because he believed it true. “But you know Sanem. She does things in her own way.”

This time Can did chuckle. It was only for a moment, but the laugh was real. “She never fails to leave me guessing. It’s one of the things I love most about her.”

“So then you know she’ll come back after she’s taken the long way around,” Nihat declared. The pride was unmistakable in his voice.

 _Hurry, my love_ , Can thought to himself as he rubbed his thumb across her knuckles. _I’m waiting._

* * *

**_Thanks for reading. Now leave a comment if you'd be so kind. :)_ **


	4. Chapter 3

**Day Six**

He was sitting out in the waiting area because they’d asked him to leave the room. They needed to change her sheets again, check all her vitals, and wash her. Then they were taking her for another CT scan. A shadow moved in front of him and he looked up—stunned to see his father before him. “ _Baba_?”

Can stood up and immediately embraced the man.

“What are you doing here?” Can asked.

“I came back last night. Emre told me what happened. I’m sorry, Can,” Aziz said as he hugged his son tightly.

“She’s the beautiful thing I wanted to introduce you to,” Can explained, his voice breaking. “But…she’s…”

“I met her already,” Aziz told him. “She was a delightful young lady. And now that I know that she’s your beloved, I can’t wait to get to know her better. And I will get to know her, son. She’s going to be okay.”

“It’s been six days since the accident,” Can said doubtfully.

“Are you prepared to give up on her after six days?” Aziz inquired.

“Never. Not even after 6000,” Can vowed, his voice stronger. “But…it feels like it’s been forever, _Baba_. I’m glad you’re here though. I’ve missed you.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you when you needed me,” Aziz said.

“You’re here now,” Can said and helped his father into a chair. “How are you feeling?”

“Good. My vacation was very restful,” Aziz said.

But Can could not bear the lie anymore. “ _Baba_ , I know the truth. I know you were seeking treatments. It’s why I agreed to take over the company for you. Though, I admit, I haven’t done a very good job of it the last few days.”

“Your concentration has been here. Where it belongs,” Aziz assured him. “How did you know about the treatments?”

“Metin told me,” Can admitted. “I’m glad that he did.”

“I asked him to keep it a secret,” Aziz reproached.

“He knew I wouldn’t stay in Istanbul without a good reason. So he told me because he knew that you would focus on your health if you knew I was looking after the company,” Can explained. “And I’m glad he told me. Because I wanted you to focus on getting better. And because if he hadn’t…I’d never have met Sanem. I just can’t imagine my life without her now.”

His father caught the meaning of his words and patted his hand. “So don’t. Stay strong for her. She needs you more now than ever.”

“ _Baba_? _Abi?_ Has something happened?” Emre asked as he came into the waiting room. “Why are you out here?”

“They needed me to leave so they could work on Sanem. They’re taking her for another scan too,” Can told him. “She’s still stable.”

“That’s good,” Emre said.

“I always knew that Aylin was no good,” Aziz said with blatant disgust. “I just don’t understand why she’d want to rundown Can’s girlfriend?”

Can shared a look with Emre. He thought he’d keep his brother’s activities with Aylin a secret. But now that Sanem was in the hospital, fighting for her life, there was no way to explain it to their father without telling him the whole truth. Can nodded at his brother, urging him to be truthful. Can listened and wrapped an arm around his father in support as the man learned the heartbreaking truth of his son’s betrayal.

“You two sold your shares to Enzo Fabri?” Aziz asked in disbelief.

“We needed to in order to save the agency,” Can explained. “It was the quickest assets to liquidate.”

“And you did this because… _Emre_ was stealing from the company?” Aziz said, stunned and angry.

“Yes, and we were supposed to get them back but Signor Fabri refused to sell them back because he was angry that Sanem refused him,” Can said. “Because I wouldn’t let her sell her perfume to him.”

“And he sent Aylin to work at the agency?” Aziz asked.

“Yes,” Can answered. “But Emre has been fighting with me since then to get rid of her.”

Emre cleared his throat. “That’s…not quite true,” Emre murmured. “I was going to tell you this the other day…but then the accident happened.”

“Tell me what?” Can asked.

“It was my idea to have Fabri put Aylin in the company,” Emre admitted.

The last five days every emotion of Can’s had been focused on Sanem. But in this one second, he felt no sadness or fear. All he felt was anger. White, blindingly hot fury. “So you’re still lying. I _never_ should’ve trusted you again.”

“Wait, _Abi_. I had a change of heart. But Aylin was blackmailing me to help keep her in the company. If I didn’t…she was going to tell Leyla the truth about everything,” Emre confessed. “I told her I didn’t love her anymore and didn’t want anything to do with her. She told me that I still owed her a company.”

“ _Why_?” Can demanded. “After I forgave you before? Why would you betray me again?”

“Because I was angry that you had the company and I didn’t,” Emre admitted. “I thought it should have been given to me.”

“So all these games were because you thought I took something from you?!” Can growled.

“Why do you think that you’re owed the company more than your brother?” Aziz asked.

“Because I’ve dedicated years to working for the company and he’s been off gallivanting across the globe,” Emre said. “And I heard what you said the night before you left…that you didn’t think leaving the company in my hands was a good idea.”

“And clearly, I was right,” Aziz pointed out. His normally jovial voice now deep with anger. “I said that Emre because you aren’t creative minded. Though, clearly, lying and manipulation are your forte. Can is creative. I believed the two of you working in tandem would be best for the company. So try to imagine my disappointment at learning that you were working against him—and me—this whole time.”

“I’m sorry, _Baba_ ,” Emre said. “I got so drawn in by Aylin. I forgot how to be a good person. But I haven’t been helping her with anything for a while. But she’s been blackmailing me not to get in her way.”

“No, that’s not good enough,” Can disputed. “Because this wasn’t Aylin that made a deal with Fabri. That was your idea. And all because you’re jealous? Well, congratulations, Emre, because you really made a mess of everything. And by the way, Father only left me in charge because he was going away to seek treatments. He wasn’t traveling the world on a yacht. He was keeping it a secret. And all your backstabbing ways before he left probably stressed him out needlessly and made his condition worse.”

“ _Baba_ , what is he talking about? Are you okay?” Emre asked.

“Do you even care?” Can shouted.

“Can, calm down, son,” Aziz cautioned. “You don’t want to get thrown out.”

“Don’t worry, Father,” Can said. “He’s not worth not being able to see Sanem. And speaking of Sanem—she’s in here because of your stupid games. She saved Leyla’s life.”

“I know. Because I told Aylin that I was done. I wasn’t going to be controlled by her anymore. That I was going to tell Leyla and you the truth,” Emre admitted. “She got really angry. Frighteningly so. But I swear...I had no idea that she was going to do what she did. She sent me a text message saying, _‘You’re going to live to regret this_ ’ just before I came to talk to you.”

“Why didn’t you tell us when you got back from meeting with her?” Can inquired.

“Because I was scared. I knew that everyone was going to hate me. And I…I was trying to find a way so that Leyla would forgive me. I love her, _Abi_. Truly,” Emre vowed. “I didn’t want to lose her. And I had no idea that the girls were going to leave early. I thought we’d give them rides like we usually do.”

“You didn’t want to lose Leyla,” Can repeated. “And now I might lose Sanem! And I promise you, brother, that I will never forgive you if I do! You will be dead to me, forever.”

“I understand,” Emre said. “And I don’t blame you for hating me. I’m sorry Sanem was hurt. And I’ll owe her forever because she saved Leyla. I knew you’d hate me when you learned what I did, but I wanted to tell you the truth.”

“It’s a bit late,” Can snapped. “And speaking of the truth…you better tell Leyla because if you don’t I will the next time I see her.”

Emre nodded.

“ _Baba_ , excuse me, I’m going to check on Sanem and see if I can get back inside with her,” Can said to his father.

“I understand, son,” Aziz said. “Please keep me updated on how she is doing.”

“I will,” Can promised.

“I pray that Sanem will be alright, brother,” Emre admitted.

“Just get out,” Can bit out and walked away from his brother and father and back towards his _canim_.

* * *

 

**Day Seven**

It had been twenty-four hours since they had removed the ventilator from Sanem. Can was so relieved that she had progressed well enough that she could be taken off the respirator. The swelling in her brain had gone away. Her lung was inflated again.

But Sanem had not woken up.

And Can was slowly going out of his mind with worry. In his mind, he’d been clinging to the thought that when she was taken off the ventilator that she would be okay. She’d open her eyes and come back to him. But instead, Sanem continued to lay motionless on the hospital bed.

His hand still clasped hers tightly. He brushed his lips across hers in the hopes he’d feel them move against his. Nothing.

The silence, the nothingness was slowly unraveling him. More and more the fear that he would lose her felt like it was becoming a hellish reality. What would he do if she remained locked inside her mind forever? He could never give up the hope that one day she would return to him. But how much longer could he survive not hearing her voice? Not being able to hold her and kiss her the way he was used to? He just missed talking with her and all the wonderful ways she’d amuse him or confuse him.

There was no end to the earth he could run to that would help him escape the crushing agony of a future without her.

“Sanem, _canim_ ,” Can whispered hoarsely—because his voice was nearly gone from talking to her almost non-stop just hoping to inspire her to wake up. “I’m begging you please come back to me. I’ve been waiting for you. And I’ll always wait for you. But I need you to wake up and return to me. I’m really no good without you. I can’t eat. I don’t sleep. I’ve no interest in books or movies. I don’t even care if I never take another picture. But I care that I might not hear you say you love me again.”

Can leaned down and rested his face against their hands. He felt warm tears spill out of the edge of his eyes and just let them fall on their linked fingers.

“My life has been one adventure after the next—jumping from this place to the next,” Can continued. “I thought that was how I was going to spend my life: a rootless vagabond. In my wildest dreams, Sanem, I never imagined you. How can the heart dream of what it doesn’t know? I never knew love before you. And I didn’t know beauty. Or what really matters. I thought I needed the adventure to feel alive. But I was wrong. I just need you. Because Sanem, our life together, all the beautiful things we will experience together, is supposed to be my biggest and best adventure. And I’m waiting for you to join me. Come back, my love. All my tomorrows are with you.”

A knock at the door drew his attention from his begging. Leyla stood at the door. "Hi, Can Bey. I just wanted to see how you both were doing."

“Come in, Leyla,” Can said. “And I told you, just call me Can.”

“Can,” Leyla corrected. “What’s the prognosis today?”

“She’s still unconscious even though they took her off the ventilator,” Can informed. “They said it’s a wait and see from now on.”

“Can I get you anything?” Leyla inquired. “I brought a bag that Emre prepared for you. Do you want me to get you some food? I know my parents are coming by in a little while and you know my mother. She’ll have food for you.”

“No, I’m fine,” Can said. “You saw Emre?” Can remembered his discussion with his brother the other day.

Leyla’s already sullen face fell more. “I did.”

“Did he tell you…?”

“He did,” Leyla admitted.

“Are you okay?” Can inquired.

Leyla moved towards the windows and looked out at the cityscape as evening began to set upon Istanbul. “To be honest, I don’t know how I feel. I’m…I’m so angry and disappointed in what he did. And I feel guilty because my sister is in here because of _me_. She saved me. And yet…I…” Leyla broke off, unable to bear the shame of her words.

“You still love him,” Can finished for her.

“I know that makes me terrible. But I don’t know how to shut the feelings off,” Leyla confessed. “I’ve felt them for so long. And I just wish it wasn’t true what he did. And more than anything I just want my sister to be okay. I feel like my insides are just a storm and I don’t know how to ground myself.”

Can squeezed Sanem’s hand, brushing his thumb across her healing knuckles. “I understand. That’s how I felt when I learned the truth about Sanem and Emre’s lies the first time. I felt betrayed…but I couldn’t stop loving her, even when I believed that her feelings had only been for show.”

“No, Can Bey—Can,” Leyla spoke. “My sister has truly loved you from the very beginning. She told me about the Albatros, did you know? We’ve gotten so much closer the last few months. It’s been nice. She loved you before she even knew it was you. But she also fell in love with _you_ without even knowing you’re the Albatros. Her feelings have only ever been real.”

“I know that now,” Can assured her. “And when I finally learned to listen and to forgive, I realized that she was still my Sanem. I couldn’t stop myself from loving her—and loving her more than ever.”

“Are you telling me to forgive Emre?” Leyla asked, puzzled.

“No. I’m not sure that I can ever forgive him myself,” Can said. “I’m just saying that I understand that feelings are more complicated than I ever thought them to be.”

Tears spilled out of Leyla’s expressive blue eyes. “But when Sanem wakes up…She needs to know the truth. And what if she hates him? Hates me? I can’t lose my sister. Especially now. It would make me a terrible person to chose Emre over her after she saved my life. I don’t even know if I could forgive him. I don’t know why I’m worried about this now.”

“You said ‘when,’” Can noted. Relieved.

“When?” Leyla mimicked.

“You said, ‘When Sanem wakes up,’” Can repeated.

“Of course, I did. Because she will,” Leyla assured, her tears melting away with her fierce resolution. “Don’t give up hope.”

"I won't," Can vowed. "But it…it meant a lot that you said it without even thinking about it."

He felt something so wonderful that he believed he dreamed it. That his mind had cracked just from the strain. Then he felt it again. Sanem’s fingers were moving beneath his. “She’s waking up,” Can announced. Declared it so that it could only be true.

“Oh my God,” Leyla whispered in awe, standing still for fear anything could stop the miracle.

“Wake up, Sanem. Come back to me. I’ve been waiting for you,” Can encouraged.

Her fingers twitched more, her eyelids began flickering but still, her eyes wouldn’t open. “Sanem,” Can said and held up her pendant. “I’m right here.”

Sanem’s head turned a little and then her eyes fluttered open. She flinched against the blinding of the light. Can moved to lean above her to block out the abrasive light. “Sanem. Sanem. Sanem.”

Her name said three times like the first time they met.

Then her voice broke, hoarse from disuse and a dry throat. “Can?”

“Thank God,” Leyla breathed. “I’m going to get the doctor. I’ll be back.”

Sanem squinted her eyes open. “Can?”

“I’m right here, _Sevgilim_ ,” Can assured her. “I’ve been right here waiting for you to come back to me.”

“I…I got so lost and I couldn’t find my way out,” Sanem murmured.

“That’s okay, my love,” Can told her and kissed her tenderly. “You’re here now. The pendant worked—I've been holding onto it." He lifted his hand to show her necklace in his hand. 

And then his tears began to fall. Every unspeakable fear he had been keeping at bay for the week; every terrifying thought of a life without her washed away with the relief that she was back. She’d returned to him.

“Can, don’t cry, my love,” Sanem soothed. She struggled to raise her hand to cup his cheek.

It all happened in an instant. Can had forgotten they were cradled in her palm, and of course, Sanem couldn’t know. His moonstones tumbled from her raised hand, bouncing off the bed onto the hospital floor. The white stone broke in half.

“Oh my God, Can,” Sanem’s expressive brown eyes grew large with shock. “I didn’t know. I’m so sorry.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Can told her. And he meant it. He had given her the moonstones so that she could get stronger and come back to him. They’d performed the biggest miracle he’d ever needed of them. Their job was done. Can could only be thankful for them. What were the stones when he had his beautiful Sanem? “It’s fine. I gave them to you to get better. It worked.”

“And I broke them,” Sanem whispered, dismayed.

“It’s okay. You’re here. I don’t need anything else. I’ll never need anything else,” Can promised, sniffling as tears still spilled over. “Just don’t leave me again. Please.”

Sanem forgot her dismay over the stones and cradled his face in the palm of her hands, stroking his face with her thumbs, brushing away errant tears. “I heard you. You asked me to stay. I was trying so hard, _Sevgilim_. I won’t go away ever again.”

Undone, Can pulled her close, lifting her frail body off the bed and holding her as tightly as he dared in his arms. He stroked her hair with his hand and just rested his head in the curve of her neck. She didn’t have her perfume on, but it was enough to hold her, breathe her in. His Sanem was so much more than a scent.

This was how the doctor and Leyla found them when they came into the room a few minutes later. The reunited lovers clinging to the other like two drifters lost at sea in a storm finally found.  

* * *

**Author's Note:** **I'd love to hear what you thought of the story. Find me on Twitter at @LilMsRayofLight.**


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